Tubing, Tubing, Down the River Vang

Vang Vieng, Laos seems like a cross between spring break and Champagne on the Steps (old Colby tradition of getting drunk on last day of classes). This is a town that has been placed on the map due to its ability to cater to extremely thirsty tourists. It has quite the scenic setting, a small town perched at the base of some hills and in close proximity to a gorgeous river. Bars are dotted along the river as tourists float down on inner tubes.

Note: To be exact, the mere reason this town exists is so tourists can float downriver on inner tubes and visit wooden bars blasting techno music. If you are extremely adventurous, you can swing off ropes and trapeze like contraptions into the river.

Although this hasn’t been our scene for the trip (late nights, heavy drinking aka much the opposite of previous Internation Steph appearances), we thought it was worth checking out as people have been talking about it since Indonesia, and as you get closer to Laos, everyone has a “Tubing in Vang Vieng” t-shirt. Second note: did not buy t-shirt but did buy super pretty flip flops (and pair of fake designer sunglasses which were subsequently lost due to tubing). As a result, flip flops will make it back to U.S… sunglasses will not.

Anywho, we set off early morning for breakfast. I initially was hoping for a bloody mary but the place we went to did not have any tomato juice. I had to settle for healthy breakfast followed by can of beer purchased on the street. We then made our way to the official tubing office of Vang Vieng. This basically consisted of one man collecting your money and another man making you sign a waiver that says something like “You are currently in Laos and if you die, do not expect us to care. PS Have tube returned by 6 PM.” After that, we were given tubes and asked to hop on a tuk-tuk with 9 other thirsty tourists.

The tuk-tuk took us through the spectacular countryside and it was unfortunate that I had left my camera in my hotel room because I would have loved to document the beauty. The mountains were spiky, tall and narrow. The river was not the color of mud. Third note: nice camera left in hotel room as safety precaution. Waterproof camera purchased instead. Those pictures should be very interesting.

So I finished my can of beer and off the tuk-tuk we hopped. I was a little wary as most tourists come back from tubing with heavily bandaged arms and legs (sorry Dad, I’m probably making you nervous here… good news is I am still alive). I decided to play it safe, not drink so many buckets of booze, and watch out for rocks. Sadly, at the very first bar we stopped at, I fell on a giant submerged tree. Oops.

You might be wondering how we manage to navigate from bar to bar on inner tubes given the current of the river? Well, luckily, there are people employed at the bar who continuously toss out old plastic bottles tied onto rope to pull you in. It was great fun.

So we hopped from bar to bar, in awe of the people jumping off of ropes (but never actually summoned the courage to attempt it ourselves). The one thing I was definitely planning on joining in on was mud volleyball however. One of the bars had created a giant mudpit to play volleyball in. The funny thing was the first side was relatively easy, but the second side was impossible to stand up in. Jordan was the first to go over there and began laughing so hard (due to buckets of booze or ginormous mudpit I am not sure). It was physically impossible for her to move without sliding farther into the pit. I decided to go check it out and was also reduced to fits of laughter. The mudpit was basically a two-foot high puddle of slippery gooey-ness. Fabulous.

We emerged a mess and managed to hose off in time to hear Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface.” This commenced the dance party portion of the adventure and continued on until we found a gigantic waterslide at one of the last bars. I figured they would only build a permanent structure if it was safe to land at the bottom of it so decided to check it out. Turned out to be such a winner that I went three times.

Fourth note: you can only imagine the people we met while on this adventure. My favorite was a Korean woman with a cut-out one piece and wool sweater. There are really no words to describe her so I won’t spend time detailing her or the other interesting folk we met.

After the waterslide, we realized five hours had magically passed and it was time to head back to town. We made it back in one piece (though somehow my tube managed to pop at the very last second before getting out of the river) and headed for a dinner of mashed potatoes. All in all, it was an interesting experience, but probably not something I would ever try again. I am not sure if this means I am getting older or what… but that’s okay. I am glad not to have any lasting reminders of the tubing adventure but am quite excited to get the pictures developed from our waterproof camera…